I've got it all figured out.

Friday, November 6, 2009

There's A Dead Midget In There!

This morning as I was biking to work I took a short cut down this sketchy street where all the halfway houses and detox centers are. Sitting on the curb in front of one house was an old vinyl suitcase bulging in the middle.

Now living in the city you tend to see things like this quite a bit and every time I see an abandoned suitcase I automatically think there’s a dead midget in it. Every time. Sometimes I picture a freshly dead midget, sometimes just a skeleton, but he’s in there alright.

I was tempted to stop and open it or at least poke it with a stick but I didn’t. I don’t know what would be worse, the psychological trauma of unzipping that case to watch the bloated carcass of a murdered little person spill out at my feet or the disappointment of unzipping it to find nothing at all save for some old clothes and shoes.


I rode on. Happy with the knowledge that back there in that case is one dead midget. Just like all the other abandoned suitcases out there.

I hope it wasn't Weng Weng. I like him.

P.S. Here's a cool exhibit of suitcases found abandoned in the attic of a state mental hospital.



annacakes79 said...

WTH? Weng-Weng? That can't be real!! LOL at the song,"It's probably the titties!!"

Johnny said...

Wheng wheng is very real. He is an international man of mystery and a potent lover.