I've got it all figured out.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I pass on the dutchie to the legalized side.

Last Saturday Toronto had its 12th annual  Global Marijuana March .

Basically a bunch of shitheads that like to smoke pot descend on Queen’s Park to show everyone exactly why marijuana isn’t legalized yet.

They wear stupid hats.

The wear stupid sunglasses.

They wave stupid flags.

They carry stupid signs.

They smoke out of stupid giant bongs.

There’s a lot of hacky sac.

And drum circles.

And that terrible, terrible music that only heavy pot use can create.

Now I’m not against pot smoking but do I want to see all that bullshit out in the open everyday? No way. Some might say that this is just a festival atmosphere and that people wouldn’t act like that all the time. Maybe but if marijuana was legal in Ontario then it would just attract a lot of hippy-dippy weed freaks from other provinces/countries that would act like that. Marijuana doesn’t need to be legal anyways, at least not in Canada. It’s easy to get. All those 40,000 stoners at the march seemed to have no problem getting it. It’s also pretty hard to get arrested for it. You either have to be selling it, driving while stoned and have it on you or be really, really obvious and do something really, really stupid while smoking it.

Even the Marijuana March people brag that in 12 years they haven’t had one arrest. Although this year a guy did fall out of a tree and is now in critical condition.

I like how the reporter says, Sometime around 4:20. Ha ha ha. Good one. What the hell was he doing 20 to 30 meters up a tree anyway? That’s like 60 or 70 feet! I’ve got a few ideas what he was doing up there. Drum roll please.

Johnny Creepshow’s top 10 Reasons the Stoner was Up the Tree.

10) The wind blew his green stripped Cat in the Hat hat up there.

9)He was marching on stilts (to show people why pot should be legal) and he crashed into it.

8) A condor grabbed him and on discovering that his dreadlocks wasn’t a delicious rat king dropped him up there.

7) He traded his binoculars for a pendent containing an authentic ounce of Tommy Chong’s bong water.

6) He was retrieving one of his girlfriends Devil Stix.

5) He’s a tree hugging hippy and was giving it a back rub.

4) He was passing the dutchie to God.

3) He was making his own papers

2) He was using Natural Google Earth.

1) He wanted to get high.

Ba-dum-dum, tisshh!

If they really want the government to legalize marijuana then maybe they should all smoke up and go out and do something useful. You know, pick up litter or help the homeless. Show people that pot smokers can be productive members of society. But no. Instead they get together, smoke up and do things like this.

And this.

And this.

Now I wanted to end this post with a video clip of Steve Sanders from 90210 in the episode where he gets addicted to smoking weed and there’s that scene where he’s laying on the floor at the foot of his bed smoking pot and crying.

But I thought that would leave you with the message that I’m against pot (that and I couldn’t find it). So instead I’ll leave you with a clip from the episode where Steve is forced to wear a dress. I think it’s something that pot smokers and non-pot smokers can both enjoy.


And besides, he kind of looks like Marilyn Munroe and she smoked pot.

And here’s Arnold Schwarzenegger smoking pot just because I love this picture.

Enjoy your day folks.

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