Herpe Valentine’s Day!

It’s St. Valentine’s Day and love is in the air!

Over at the Playboy Mansion that love filled air is giving everyone some type of legionnaires disease. They’re saying that it might have been caused by a fog machine but we all know the real cause.

And speaking of diseases I have good news for all you people with herpes out there. You no longer have to spend Valentine’s Day crying lonesome tears into your Hungry Man Fried Chicken Dinner whose freezer burned box you earlier used to sooth your raw and blistered genitals.

Herpes herpes boburpes banana fanna fo ferpes me my mo merpes. Herpes!

Camelot Introductions now offers a dating service that connects people with herpes with other people with herpes.

File Photo: Couples with herpes.

Now your nights can be spent discussing your herpes over candlelit dinners. The size and frequency of your outbreaks, the disgusting acts that resulted in your infection and the horrible people that gave them to you.

It doesn’t matter if you have nothing else in common. That’s never stopped true love before.

File Photo: True love/couples with herpes.

So this one goes out to all you heart hurtin’ herpes havein’ heroes hunched over your Hungry Man helpings. Slap on some polysporin and slip into something stain resistant cause you’re back in the game!