I've got it all figured out.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Get By With a Little Help From...

You know what I just started thinking about right now?


Jason Hervey, the guy that played Wayne on the wonder years.

 I used to love that show. Me and my friend Spencer  watched it all the time. We had this thing where each episode one of use would take the word “Butthead” and the other would take the word “Scrot”. When ever Wayne would say one of these words who ever picked it would get 50 cents from the loser. The key was to pick Butthead if you could. Even though Scrot is a funnier word Wayne always said Butthead more. God the dad was an asshole in that show. He hated his kids and was all messed up from Korea or something. Half the episodes were about Kevin Arnold just trying to get a smile out of his dad. The daughter Karen showed him though. She married a Jewish hippy that looked like that ass clown David Schwimmer .

Back to Jason Hervey.

You know what got me thinking about him? I’ll tell you. This guy Neil that I work with has two staplers. I commented “Wow, you must be rich”. That’s the line from Back to the Future that Lorraine Baines little brother Milton says to Calvin Klein/Marty McFly when he says he has two tvs. When I said it I could picture the scene in my head…

Oh yeah… that’s him. It’s Jason Hervey!

I found this website called TheGoldenCloset where you could buy that pajama top he’s wearing but it’s already been sold.

Why is it that I remember him in so many other movies that I like (The Monster Squad, Meatballs 2, Back to School, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment) but not Back to the Future? Oh well, who gives a shit.

Did you know that Jason Hervey went on to write professional wrestling scripts? Did you know that professional wrestling even had scripts? I thought it was just a mixture of bad improv based on fan letters written by the mentally challenged.

Here’s an example of a wrestling script (written on a napkin):

Interior Locker room.

Mean Gene Orkland is interviewing Randy Macho Man Savage about an upcoming title match with Hulk Hogan.

Mean Gene: Are you worried about the match with Hulk Hogan Macho Man?

Macho Man (oily): Weeeellllll let me tell you something Mean Gene. When I get through with Hulk Hogan. He’s gonna look like Ravishing Rick Rude’s rectum when he blew it out squat lifting 350. Ohhhhh Yeaaaaaaaaaah!

Locker door opens to reveal angry (and also oily) Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan: You want to settle this right now brother? Why wait for Summer Slam?

Macho Man: Ieeehhhh got a Summer Slam for yea.

Macho Man hits Hulk Hogan with the locker door. Hulk Hogan is unfazed. Macho Man hits Hulk Hogan with the locker door. Hulk Hogan is unfazed. Macho Man hits Hulk Hogan with the locker door. Hulk Hogan is unfazed...

You mean to tell me that Jason Hervey got paid for that? Do you think it was Wonder Years money? I doubt it.

Here he is actually making an appearance on wrestling:

Here he is in an awesome Hi-C commercial from 1986:

Long live Jason Wayne Milton Hervey!

1 comment:

order viagra online said...

Interesting article, added his blog to Favorites