I've got it all figured out.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"Whatever happened to hand-jobs?"

Oh man! Whew! Oh boy! Special treat for me last night. I turn on my TV and what do I see? Bachelor Party on AMC!!! Even though it’s more majestic moments were dubbed or cut out and I own my own unedited copy (on VHS) it’s safe to say I watched it.
If you haven’t seen Bachelor Party yet stop reading this, stop being an idiot and go watch it now. Download it, rent it, hell buy it because you’re going to want to watch it over and over and you’re going to want to lend it to friends and loved ones. Buy two copies because someone you lend it to is not going to want to give it back.
Bachelor Party is everything a good 80s movie should be and then some. Fuck John Hughes (god rest his soul). The only film that comes close to BP is Revenge of the Nerds and that’s saying something.
We’ve got Tom Hanks in one of his first and most embarrassing rolls to date, a Hindu street pimp, a guy disguising his foot long penis as a hot dog, hookers, a hooker band that looks like the B52’s minus that little creep with the mustache, a suicidal drug addict named Pecker Head, full frontal nudity, Mike the magical, sexual mule who later takes a bunch of pills and cocaine and dies (I hope that’s not a plot spoiler) and, and, and…. Whew! I’m out of breath.
On of my most prized possessions is a copy of the soundtrack for this movie on vinyl. I got it off some burn-out in Kensington Market for $2! Someone once told me that they enjoyed listening to me talk about Bachelor Party more then when they actually saw the film. That’s how much I love this film. Maybe I can get a job describing BP to the blind because that would be the worst part about being blind… not being able to see Bachelor Party.

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