I've got it all figured out.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Caveman say, Oooohhhh!

Recent research from Canadian scientists has uncovered that early humans interbred with neanderthals.

I’m pretty sure this is how it went down.

So what this means is that many people today are walking around with a little bit of caveman DNA in them. A little bit?! It’s got to be more than a little bit. Sometimes I’m surprised there aren’t balls of hairy knuckle skin blowing around the streets like tumbleweed. But at least this explains a lot.

 It explains:

Ultimate Fighting fans.

Putting balls on your truck.

The popularity of Charlie Sheen.

Burger King’s menu for the next several decades.

Those guys that scream, Wooo! all the time when they get drunk.

Hunting lingerie.
The recording and production of a new Limp Bizkit album.

Beer for dogs.

Fur coats for men.

Female body builders.

Owning a 2,000 sq ft home but still feeling the need to turn your garage into your dream bachelor apartment.

And this guy.

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