I've got it all figured out.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ask the Magic Internet a Stupid Question No. 0047

You know what I watched last week? That’s right Arthur!

Even though Liza Minnelli makes me actuallY shudder, I’ve always loved that movie.

See-through patio pants!! Double shudder and a puke swallow!

I even named my first car Dudley after Dudley Moore. I think it befit the regality of the 1984 Chrysler E Class.

Bonus: Ricardo Monte Balm. Double Bonus: That amazing Chrysler Bat Cave set!

One thing I’d forgotten about Arthur having not seen it in a while was how funny John Gielgud was as Hobson the Butler.

In fact Joseph Marcell’s Geoffrey the butler on Fresh Prince of Bel Air is just a rip off of Arthur’s Hobson.

Nope, Geoffrey it’s true. But I’ll tell you one thing I do think is a lie. Will Smith being from the ghetto. Aren’t people from the streets supposed to look like scary bad asses that you wouldn’t fuck with?

Does this fit that picture?

Fuck, even Weird Al looks tougher.

Now some tough ghetto rap dudes did wear some weird shit back in the day. Something tells me that if you messed with Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five you’d be in for the biggest purple gloved, gold ladies trench coated, yellow leather fringed, Bud Light cycling, pith helmeted, yellow vinyl y-fronted, white cowboy booted ass kicking of your life that would leave you bloodied and laying on a pile of their expensive furs.

And to tell you the truth Will can look pretty tough sometimes.

In a gay guy dreaming about 50 Cent kind of way.

So what say you Magic Internet? Is Will Smith really from the streets? Or was that just made up to sell him to us honkies like Sinbad?

What up dog! I was in the math club and the marching band.

Question 47: Is Will Smith actually from the ghetto?

Magic Internet Answer: In order to ascertain wither or not William Smith lived or was raised in the ghetto we must define exactly what this term means. The ghetto is a section of a city occupied by a group do to social, economical or legal pressure or an overpopulated urban area often associated with a certain ethnic or racial population. Mr. Smith was born in West Philadelphia but was raised in German town. Germantown is an area in the North West of Philadelphia about 8 miles from the city centre.

Oops, wrong rapper sign.

Germantown is a predominantly black neighborhood and is a considered to be a somewhat impoverished area with about 25% of its population earning an income below the poverty line. That being said Mr. Smith’s parents both had good jobs. His father Willard was a refrigeration engineer and his mother a school administrator. William Smith may have lived in a somewhat impoverished area but he did not come from an impoverished family. That being said, due to its social-economical characteristics and it’s close proximity to the 8th worst drug corner in America (52nd St. and Market St.) I think we can say that yes, Will Smith does indeed come from the ghetto.


Well I stand corrected. Good for you Will. You went from the ghetto to Hollywood. You’re the real life Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Never mind my E-Class. I bet you drive around in Chrysler Lebaron you lucky son of a bitch!

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