I've got it all figured out.

Friday, October 15, 2010

How could hell be any worse?

I went to the bad Religion show last night.

It was nice to get a dose of good old nostalgic punk rock. It made me feel 15 again. Maybe I’ll go stand aimlessly outside 7-11 all night tonight just to keep the buzz going. Or I could just stay home and watch Suburbia or Beavis & Butthead or Clerks.

Do kids still hang out in front of Convenience stores? I once got a letter banning me from every 7-11 in Burlington because they said I harassed one of their employees. All I did was call him Pickle. Everyone called him Pickle. I’m not sure why. He was a greasy little blonde guy. Maybe it was that green 7-11 shirt. Anyway it certainly didn’t warrant a city wide ban. It’s not like Pickle worked in every store. Jesus, you’d think I robbed the place or something.

Not too long after I got the Pickle letter that 7-11 closed down. I’d like to say that it suffered from the lack of my patronage but the truth is I never bought much more than a freezy there and I didn’t even stop going even after I was banned. Now it’s a Big Bear.

This isn’t it. I think this is the shittier one in Hamilton.

You know what else I saw at the show? I saw a girl wearing a Dayglo Abortions shirt!

File Photo: Some of their best work.

I’m not really sure why she was wearing that shirt. She was young but no girl could possibly like the Dayglo Abortions. You don’t think so?



I stopped listening to the Dayglos the moment I gained one iota of maturity. I can only assume that the girl I saw wearing the shirt has never actually heard the band. I’m guessing she just found the shirt at Vallue Village and thought it looked cool and offensive and might help her land a dreamy punk rock boyfriend.

Little does she know that the only thing that shirt will attract is a 14 year old cretin who has traveled through time from 1989 to fart on her head while she sleeps.

Sigh. Well at least it’s good to know that even though this can probably be found in the punk section of HMV.

And this can probably be bought at Clik Clak.

Punk is STILL not dead.

It just looks a lot more like your new neighbor that wants to have you and your wife over for a BBQ some time.

You still got it Greg!

Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to celebrate by going out and calling some guy Pickle.

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