I've got it all figured out.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Bonus: That kid’s fucking head looks like a Pumpkin!

Now I’m sure a lot of my American readers are putting down their firearms or foot long hamburgers from Carl’s Jr.

Shut up, I know you’re eating them right now.

And wondering, What in the hell is that crazy Canuck talkin’ about? Thanksgiving ain’t for another month. Yee haw and tar nation. Well not here. In Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October. I like it that way. It spaces out the holidays so you can enjoy each one individually. In America they have Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November. I don’t know why. Maybe it takes them longer to clean (oil) and set the table.

One of those elephant guns would make a great horn of plenty. Does anyone actually put one of those horns on their table at Thanksgiving?

They used to give us pictures of them to colour at school around Thanksgiving (Way to phone it in Mrs. Burnell.) but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one. I suppose I could make my own. Like this one made out of what appears to be the Sears catalogue underwear section.

But back to the whole Thanksgiving in November thing .That’s 4 weeks before Christmas! That just seems like too much to handle. You’re forcing yourself into a marathon of over indulgence. You’d just be finishing your Thanksgiving leftovers as you’re putting the Christmas Turkey in the oven. Well I hope they’re all asking Santa for the Shake Weight cause they’re gonna need it.

Or you could go out and hunt your own turkey. That’s good exercise. Here’s a little song off Ted Nuggent’s Hunt Music album to get you in the mood.

Just don’t get too caught up in the hunt or you may find yourself hunting nature’s greatest prey…


Gobble Gobble Hey everyone!

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